Why Pigs Are Greedy

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparantly the best thing to do is to cut up the corpse into six pieces, and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you got to get rid of them cos its not good to leave it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover is it?

Then I hear, the best thing to do is to feed them to Pigs. You got to store the piece for a few days. Then the sight of a chopped up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You got to shave the hair off your victims, and pull their teeth out for the sake of the Piggy's digestion. You could do these afterwards of course...but you wouldn't want to be sieving through pig shit do you? They will go through bone like butter.

You need at least 16 pigs to go through the job in one sitting. So be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds...in about 8 minutes. That means that a single pig can consume 2 pounds of uncooked flesh...every minute. Hence the expression....'As Greedy As A Pig!!'

-Brick Top Tony, Snatch

Tomorrow's Dreams

Zain stood by his father's bedside, his steely eyes fixated on pale pouting lips as his father excruciatingly and intermittently clasped and gasped for air. Like a fish out of water, it was only a matter of time before all of his soul prys itself free from the clutches of its helpless body, hoary with age. The epic battle against cancer surged closer and closer, till all that separates them from certain death remains only a hair's breadth away.

Though his father had always led an industriously colourful life, Zain nevertheless regretted not heeding the doctor's advice. "He hasn't much left in him. His time is up. Any day could be his last.Make his end of days sweet and full of smiles...like how he has always lived his life. You never know what tomorrow brings," the doctor's words still lingers through the hospital's dark empty hallways.

Zain helplessly gazed at his father's peaceful looking corpse being pushed out of the ward, his head, full of thought provoking emotions. Zain couldn't explain how selfish he was, to spend most of his time away from home, hell bent on carving a name for himself in the industry. What ever time left, was spent with Caroline whom he has yet proposed to.

"Go see your father lah. Your mother has been looking for you the whole day you know", Caroline would pester Zain. "Busy lah. Got this huge project coming up. Tomorrow can go visit lah ok?", Zain curtly replied. "I dunno lah you. It's your father not mine!", Caroline would stomp into her room huffing and puffing at Zain's growing stubbornness.

Zain's tomorrows extended beyond the far reaches of the Himalayan mountains. As days transcends into weeks and months, the hefty price he paid for procrastinating the act of seeking forgiveness from his father shall be an endless sorrow, something, that would have to remain in the void of his heart till he learns to forgive himself...if ever really.

Zain isolated himself from the world, his zest for life deteriorating by the second . In the doldrums of loneliness, he keeled and suffered, and so did his relationship with Caroline.
"You know what Zain, only God knows why I'm still with you. My family has banished me for wanting to convert to Islam, my friends think I'm insane, and you've never once said 'I Love You' to me. Not even once!", Caroline lamented. "It's been forever since you actually picked me up from work, or delighted me with a fancy dinner. You've ceased surprising me with flowers. Hell! I can't even remember the last time you opened the doors for me!" Caroline rambled on and on, exposing all that she felt within her.

"Well, me going to Hong Kong next week for an assignment shall be a good time for you to think about everything...about us. Think carefully Zain. I'm giving you this time to sort your muddled self out. I sincerely hope you make the right decision. An inkling of my heart still believes in you", Caroline drilled her words into Zain's head before slamming the doors shut.

Zain stared at the ceiling unperturbed by whatever Caroline had to say. After all, she was the reason why he severed all ties with his father in the first place. Zain was ripped apart, having to decide between Caroline and his family but he could not see himself sitting on the pedestal with any other woman to call his queen.

Zain remembered the day he first introduced Caroline to his parents. Though his late father didn't approve his only son's desire to marry a Catholic, his father was respectful enough to not show his true feelings to their non-Muslim guest that day.

However, all hell broke lose the moment Caroline left for home that night. Never in Zain's life had he wounded his father so deeply. Bitter words were exchanged between father and son which resulted in Zain moving out of the family house. "I will move out of this stupid house!", Zain recalled the exact last words said to his father 2 years before his demise. Zain felt so mighty that night, like he had broken loose from the firm chains that gripped him.

Zain lazily slumped into his rocking chair, gazing far beyond the cityscapes, reflecting on the recent events of his life. Zain have always coveted his lonely nights by the balcony with his pet cat nestled comfortably on his lap. That night however, Sugar seemed rather more interested in the rubber ball. The strong breeze that caressed his face also strangely whistled an unusually chillier tune.

Praying for some kind of divine intervention to enlighten his path ahead, Zain succumbed to God's mercy and shed tears that seeked help and guidance. For a moment, he felt a familiar warmth on the top of his head. Zain remained still, wondering if this was real or merely a dream. Zain remembered how as a boy his father would always place his palm on the top of Zain's head. Whenever Zain apologized for being naughty, his father would just place his palm on the head, while advising the boy not to repeat the offence before ruffling the boy's hair.

It was just all too familiar to Zain as he turned his head abruptly, hoping to see a ghost or something. Emptiness stared straight back into Zain's apologetic eyes. The winds decided to stop still and so did the rustling of the leaves on the trees. "Bapak?", Zain whispered. "Bapak, is that you?", Zain pondered in a hush tone.


"Bapak...I know it's you. I know you're here. I know I have not been a good son. And I shall live with this guilt for as long as I live. I know it's too late now to seek your forgiveness. I have to live with this for I dunno how long. It's been barely a week since you passed away, and already I can't take this pressure. My whole life is in a mess. I got no one to talk to...I dunno what to do..", Zain continued.

Zain took in a deep breath, fighting off his urge to break down and cry before continuing. "Bapak, for a long time now I've asked myself if I ever regretted making a move on Caroline all those years ago. My answer is still no. She is the only woman that can keep me happy and it will always be that way. But my family is more important to me too. And if it's your desire that i shall not marry Caroline, so be it. You've always known what's best for me Bapak", Zain conceded.

"I knew I can never forgive myself when I was by your death bed. If there is one thing I regret in life, it is to not visit you earlier. I've always thought that you had plenty left in you. You've always been strong, physically and mentally. Bapak, if it is really you standing beside me now, and if you accept my forgiveness please place your palms on my head like how you always used to", Zain begged.

Zain bowed his head in prayer, then he felt it! That all too familiar warm sensation on the top of his head. Secretly, he said a little prayer and was soon fast asleep there and then on his rocking chair. That night, Zain had a peculiar dream. In it, Zain was at a wedding ceremony. His own wedding ceremony!

As Zain wan putting the final touches on his impressive hair do, there came a knock on his door. It was his father! And this is what he had to say:

"My son...if this is what you want, so be it. I shall shower you with all the blessings from the bottom of my heart. Too much grief and tears have already been sacrificed in this family, and tears of sadness would never flower any tree. Too much time has been wasted, when nobody is promised a Tomorrow. Go out there...she's waiting for you"


Zain sprang from the rocking chair, cold and shivering. Zain was lost in translation, trying to come to terms the night's events. Everything seemed so real, like a sign. As he stepped into his house, his eyes laid on Caroline's photograph on his bookshelf and in an instant, everything began to make sense once again.

Zain scrambled to his room and was out of the house in a flash. It was 2am but time shall not deter him from claiming his love once again. After all, Nobody Is Promised Tomorrow.

The Battle for Paschendale

In a foreign field he lay
Lonely soldier unknown grave
On his dying words he prays
Tell the world of Paschendale

Relive all that he's been through
Last communion of his soul
Rust your bullets with his tears
Let me tell you 'bout his years

The bodies of ours and our foes
The sea of death it overflows
In no man's land God only knows
Into jaws of death we go...

Home, far away. From the war, a chance to live again
Home, far away. But the war, no chance to live again

See my spirit on the wind
Across the lines beyond the hill
Friend and foe will meet again
Those who died at Paschendale

In a foreign field he lay
Lonely soldier unknown grave
On his dying words he prays
Tell the world of Paschendale

- Iron Maiden

Monday Morning 5.19

At eight o'clock we said goodbye
That's when I left her house for mine
She said that she'd be staying in
Well, she had to be at work by nine

So I get home and have a bath
And left an hour or two pass
Drifting in front of my TV
When a film comes on that she wants to see

Cause if she's still not back
Well, heaven knows what then
Is this the end

At half past two I picture her
In the back of someone else's car
He runs his fingers through her hair
Oh, you shouldn't left him touch you there

It's Monday morning 5. 19
And I'm still wondering where she's been
Cause every time
I try to call I just get her machine

And now it's almost 6 a.m.
And I don't want to try again
Cause if she's still not back
And then this must be the end

- Rialto
Monday Morning 5.19

Our Little Big Story

Anna 'retired' to her room earlier than usual that night, heeding the advice of her elders. She knew she had to have as much of her beauty sleep in order to rival the radiance of the morning sun the next day. As she closed her room doors shut behind her, she could still make out the hustle and bustle of the preparations downstairs.

Anna's soulful eyes were transfixed unto her stunning Vera Wang wedding gown, hanging from the handle of her old wardrobe. She ran her hands through the hemlines of her dress and she lulled into every young girl's fantasy that encompasses a wedding befitting a princess. Half of her wanted so much to start a new chapter with her soon to be husband but the other half of her seemed reluctant to part with her doting parents and her adorable younger sister.

It wasn't easy she sighed, to share a room with a 'stranger' whom she loved so dearly, after spending the vast majority of her life sharing a bed with her younger sister. At least twice the size she was, Anna coyly smiled as she thought about how they always fought for bed space. As much as she hated the fact that her sister inevitably shoved her to the ends of the mattress, somehow, Anna knew she was going to miss her sister terribly.

Anna stood by the window sill, the silvery light from the crescent moon embracing her rosy cheeks. The white wedding tents stood majestically in the lawn of her family house. Rose bushes lined the garden edges, fresh with blooming flowers, as if they knew they had to look extra pretty the next day.

The white jasmine flowers looked as though they naturally grew out from the custom crafted arches where both bride and groom shall exchange their vows during the ceremony. Anna pictured herself standing there with her husband, with flower girls en towed, looking delightfully charming like the flower petals that trailed the wedding couple's footsteps.

Anna cupped her delicate hands together as she transcended into a moment of solitude to offer a quick quiet prayer to God for blessing her with this stupefying splendor of a wedding that played endlessly in possibly every girls' mind.

Anna was disrupted by a loud rap on the door before her younger sister let herself into the room for possibly the last night that both sisters would spend genuine quality time with each other. Agnes, the younger of the two went straight to Anna and blanketed her with her large frame, already sensing the loss.

Anna reciprocated with a bear hug of her own, though she was almost hidden within Agnes's large frame. Both sisters sobbed tears mixed with joy and sadness but no words were exchanged. Only the echoes of the crickets provided some sort of night time melody but the sisters were oblivious to it all. Sometimes, silence speaks more clearly what words fail to convey.

That night, both sisters sat cross legged on the bed as they talked like how all loving sisters do. They talked about mostly happy times, from childhood, to school days, to the torrid times of having to fight for 5 more minutes in the bathroom or who shall sit at the vanity table first to beautify herself for work.

If one does not know the Osmond family, they would have never guessed in a million years that both Anna and Agnes are sisters in name and in blood. Anna, the older of the two boasted a svelte figure, with ample bosoms and sharp features. Her skin, smooth and milky, would make the fine porcelains weep in envy. Her hair flowed like the nile and it was never difficult for Anna to make friends wherever she went and the boys came tumbling down after her as well.

Agnes, a good 5 years younger on the other hand had excess flesh in all the wrong places, the result of persistent pampering from both her parents and grandparents. They had the same flawless skin and hair but sadly, it didn't matter because these were somehow obscured by Agnes's huge frame. As expected, Agnes didn't make friends easily at school, endlessly being scorned at for being fat. Naturally, the boys didn't want to be associated with her and all her life, Agnes has yet to discover what love felt like, what tingling sensations a boy's lips can bring, or what warmth, a boy's hands radiates when slipped in between her fingers.

That night, as both sisters sat and chatted the night away, Agnes looked as though she wanted to tell Anna something important but somehow, she held it back. Anna could feel it and she persisted. Noticing her sister's adamant resistance, she reluctantly withdrew her efforts. The day's events somehow got to the two sisters and after much thought, both sisters surrendered their heads unto the pillows, hugging each other, and hearing each others' breathing, for the last time before dear Anna gallops away with her prince into the charmed world that bestowed upon her.

The wedding was indeed befitting royalty. Smiles shot in from all angles along with their humble blessings for the couple and their families. The band provided much entertainment and kept the crowd in a joyous mood. It was hard to disagree that perhaps, this was really one hell of a wedding, a wedding meant to be remembered for many years indeed.

That night, as the last of the guests bid farewell to the hosts, so did the bride and groom. Tears filled the Osmond household as the bride hugged her family members one by one. It wasn't as if this was the last time they were going to see Anna, but somehow, it's a baffling unique phenomenon shared by all cultures whichever part of the world you came from. It was just a customary mark to officially hand over something precious, something you have fed and watch grow and blossom into a fine young woman.

Anna saved the last hug for her dear sister Agnes, and as the wedding car zoomed away, the Osmond household was drowned in a sombre silence, with streaks of tears showing on each and every one of the Osmonds' cheeks.

That night, as Anna was heaving herself to undress and wash up, her handphone ringed. It was a muffled ring and Anna managed to trace it in her bag just in time before the caller hung up. Anna was greeted with the voice of her best friend Suzy who was now living in London. Suzy drowned Anna with her well wishes for the wedding couple which lasted a whole of 5 mins. With her wedding gown half undone, Anna chucked her handphone onto the bed but she noticed something peculiar peeking out of her handbag.

Curiously, Anna pulled out the piece of white paper and unfolded it to reveal its contents. The paper reeked of a sweet pulsating smell of her favourite scent and it read:


To my 'Little' Big Sister,

No words can describe how genuinely happy I felt when I saw you up on the pedestal as the priest pronounced you man and wife. You looked beautiful, like a visiting angel that disobeyed God's orders to stay in the Heavens.

I knew from the moment Marcus came into your life that he will be the rainbow shining in your skies. I sincerely hope that he takes care of you as good as how Dad takes care of all of us. Though you're not far away, as you are reading this, I have already felt this sense of loss. Though this is not a bad kind of loss, it somehow made me cherish all the times we shared even more.

Sleeping in our old room shall never be the same again, and so does watching our favourite chick flicks over sinful Haagen Dazs Chocolate ice creams. Your presence still lingers in our house, and it shall always remain that way.

I know for a fact that I may never find a man to call my own because of the way I look but I shall be secretly waiting, though hope is fast wilting away. Like what Mum always says, if good things do not happen to us in this life, perhaps there is something better awaiting us in the next.

You have always been the best part of my life and I hope now, you can be the best part of Marcus's life as well. I wish you two all the best and can't wait for your next visit. Till then....

Love, Your 'Big' Little Sister,
Agnes Anne Osmond