Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The Tale That Wasn't Right




Once Upon A Time...


On a morning where the splendour of the rising sun crept above our sleepy island inconspicously, Ayshah was already listening to the music garnered by the formless winds as her car sped across a barren expressway.

She was early no doubt, but she couldn't wait any longer. Though her appointment with Dr. Lim was scheduled for 8am that morning, showing up sooner at the hospital somewhat appeased her constant flusters.

As she waited, the dainty footsteps of a nurse echoed along the empty corridors. Other than that, the atmosphere at the hospital transformed to a genuinely ghastly silence.

"Ms Ayshah, you're awfully early", Staff Nurse Imelda broke the ice in her Tagalog accent. "Yah, I can't sleep last night Nurse. This results thing is getting to me. Hope it's nothing bad", Ayshah tried to sound positive. "Well there is a God child. We'll hope for the best. I'll pray for you", Nurse Imelda offered her compassion.

"Insyaallah", Ayshah whispered in her heart as she closed her eyes and tilted her head back against the wall.

Ayshah fell asleep without putting in much effort but it lasted only an hour as one of the younger nurses woke her up and walked her to Dr. Lim's office. As the nurse closed the door, once again the ghastly silence creeped into the air.

Dr Lim motioned for Ayshah to take a seat while he flipped through her results file. It was as though Dr Lim refused to look at his patient. Ayshah felt her heart trying to get out of her chest as she waited for Dr Lim to speak.

"Well, let's cut to the chase Ayshah. I am not going to lie to you. The test results has confirmed that your cancer cells has already spread rapidly to the major parts of your body. It would have helped if you came for a detection early, but there is nothing much we can do", Dr Lim sounded as honest as he possibly can.

Whatever Dr Lim said henceforth fell on deaf ears. To a cancer patient, the only thing that mattered now was how long do they have left. But Ayshah was different. She accepted God's will with open arms and a few tears. For her, she's going to live as though everyday was her last.

The loving people around Ayshah wept secretly when they heard of the tragic news but they strived to be by her side to ensure that everything was as joyous as summer.

It took a good couple of months before Adam, Ayshah's childhood friend learnt of her illness.By that time, Ayshah's condition deteriorated and left her on the bed for the most part of the day. Being a busy professional, Adam found it hard to snatch away some time to pay his friend a visit.

On one such frustrating night at work, Adam leaned against the splendid glass window of his office
and dialled Ayshah's number. They talked for a good 15 minutes. They talked mostly about the past. And for the first time in months, Ayshah candidly managed a laugh.

"I'll be dropping by tomorrow Ayshah. Is there anything I can get you?" Adam offered. "Nothing lah Adam. Just come already can. If you really want to bring something, make sure it makes me happy Ok?" Ayshah replied.

I couldn't possibly think of any object tangible or otherwise that could appease a leaving soul. Adam, despite his complicating work related issues circling within his mind, somehow tried to wreck his brain to think of a meaningful gift.

Adam never thought so hard before and unknowingly, he fell asleep whilst deep in thought. With God's grace, Adam had a remarkable dream that night. In that dream, the world was 1979 once again. A time where simple pleasures like playing in the drains and catching butterflies brought about as much laughter and warmth as how a Playstation could ever bring to a child of this present day.

In that dream, he saw how on every Tuesdays and Thursdays, Ms Andrea, the lovely Eurasian lady would always gather the kampung kids to read them fairy tales. Sometimes, when she had more time to entertain us, she would kindly choose a role for the kids and when she reads the story out from the book, we would act out the part.

On one such occasion, Ms Andrea was reading "The Firebird" to the kids. It was Ayshah's favourite fairy tale and she demanded to be the fair Helena, the princess in that story. The setting was all to vivid for Adam and just as Ms Andrea was about to finish the last page of The Firebird, Adam awoke from his dream.

It took a while for Adam to arouse his senses. For once, Adam wanted to be brought back again in time. To a period in his life where there wasn't any responsibilities and where the bad things seem to only happen to grown ups.

Then it hit him. Getting that Firebird book would make the most perfect gift. But Adam wasn't interested in the reprints. He wanted to locate the original publication. The exact ones when they used to read while they were kids.

Adam took the day off and set off to search for the book. He scoured almost every old bookshop he could find but they only carried the modern reprints. Then, when Adam was about to give up all hope, he saw it. In a small second hand bookshop in Bras Basah Complex. A similar copy to the one he read while he was a kid. He flipped through the pages, he could still remember all the illustrations as he flipped on.

Overwhelmed with satisfaction, Adam made his way to Ayshah's home. Ayshah was sleeping when Adam arrived. Adam noticed how weak she looked even in her sleep. Adam did not want to wake her up so he crept by her bedside and stared at his friend.

Adam must have been there for hours with the only movement from him is the battling of his eyelids. Adam then took out the book, rested his hands on her lap, then started to flip the book open.

Adam began to read. In a soft yet clear tone. Adam tried to emulate the way Ms Andrea would read to them back in the days of 1979. Adam was really too engrossed in reading that he failed to notice Ayshah waking up from her sleep to listen to him.

Ayshah stole a smile then pretended to close her eyes. She listened attentively to her favourite Fairy Tale that was being read aloud. Then as Adam flipped to the last page, he stumbled on the words. He refused to read it out aloud. Adam snapped the book close like the jaws of an alligator.

"Finish up the story Adam. Common", Ayshah whispered. "Huh. You mean you're awake this whole time?" Adam replied bewildered. "Yah..Of course I'm awake. My favourite fairy tale you know", Ayshah struggled with her words before letting out a series of coughs.

"I can't Ayshah. It's just to painfull", Adam started to tear already. "Just read it out lah. I want to hear it", Ayshah requested and that reminded Adam of how she forced Ms Andrea to let her act out as the fair princess Helena.

"
Ivan hurried into the palace. There stood Helena in her wedding dress, and when she saw Ivan she gave a cry of joy. His two brothers were struck dumb with terror.

When the Tsar heard Ivan's story he banished the wicked brothers, and gave half his kingdom to his youngest son instead. Ivan and Helena were married and lived happily ever after."

"
Bullshit! Where got such a thing as happily ever after?" Adam began to sob as he looked away from Ayshah.

"No Adam. You can't say that. This is life. This is God's will. You have to be strong. In the game of life, the only thing that is certain is death. It's the people that we meet along the way...the events that we go through... these are the things that we can count on to make us laugh and make us smile. And by you doing all these, it has surpassed any of my expectations.

This is my happily ever after Adam... You made my rainbow even more colourful that it already is", Ayshah said while holding on tightly to Adam's hands. "This is my happily ever after."



Friday, November 03, 2006

Sherene's Closet's Full Of Suprises


The first time Mr & Mrs Yusoff brought Sherene back was a day that was all too burdensome to forget. Only a week old, Sherene had the rosiest lips that equalled her porcelain skin. Her eyes brought about a deep sense of tranquility, her dimples as deep as valleys, and her little fingers was as delicate as wilting flowers.

The Yussof's had been trying far too long to have a child. 8 years to be precise. Sherene's dulcet cries, aimless smiles, her telling eyes and endless hunger calls in the wee hours of morning all contributed and transformed the Yussof's humble abode into a home.

It's funny how us humans accomplishes so much throughout our lives and often the things that we always remember are the 'Firsts'. The first cry, the first kiss, the first smile, the first tooth, the first step, the first fall and the list just grows.

The Yusoff's documented every 'Firsts' pertaining their only child through photographs. I remembered looking through their photo albums. The collection was more than my lifetime put together. I saw Sherene's first day at home, her first smile, first tooth, first wound on her chin when her mother accidently hit her at the endge of the table.

Then I saw her first birthday cake, and her first orange school uniform in Kindergarten, her first toy car, her first watter bottle, her first Barbie doll schoolbag, her first pair of Velcro Bubblegummers shoes. Through the eyes of these photographs, I can't help smiling and thinking to myself, "What a beautiful and blessed life Sherene is about to go through". She has such loving parents that showered her an abundance of love and affection.

Sherene grew up very much into the daughter that every parent wished for. She is well-mannered, soft spoken, graceful, and spots an undying smile as she performs her household chores. Very much a rarity these days and time.

Then on her 16th birthday, for the first time, her parents decided to throw her a lavish surprise party in their huge garden. There was to be expensive food, loud music and all her family and friends will be there.

Of course, Sherene does not know of this as she came home that day. Her mother was out 'doing groceries' while her busy father's still at work as usual. She set about doing her household chores with that forgiving smile on her face as always. All of a sudden, Sherene decided to take a look at her growing up photo albums. The same one that I told you about earlier.

High and low she searched for it but to no avail. It wasn't among the other albums, it wasn't in the living room, it sure wasn't in her bedroom as well. She then opened her mother's wardrobe and saw it perched up in the top shelf, amongst other miscelleneous stuff.

Sherene groaned as she tip toed and tried to reach for that album. Realising that she was still too short to reach it, she grabbed a stool and tried again. Sherene lost her footing as she attempted to lug it out from the cupboard and the album, along with a pile of other stuff rained on her.

Sherene sighed at the thought of having to re arrange everything nicely again in the cupboard. As she picked up every single item piece by piece, she came across a yellowish piece of paper, folded nicely. She opened it and read its contents.

It was a letter of adoption. It bears her name and that of her 'parents'. Sherene attempted at holding back her tears until she was at the comfort of her own room. She buried her face into her pillow and thought hard. She didn't need that album anymore. In her mind, she pictured her first birthday and her first day at school and whatever first's that life has to offer.

This day marks a series of many 'firsts' in Sherene's life. The first time she cried buckets. The first time she thought of slitting her wrists. The first time she felt so lost. The first time she learned that life is indeed a beautiful portrait.....like those photographs. It was just nice to look at but the emotions of those within the photos remains concealed and untold.

the party my friends...I'm afraid has already began. From one friend to another,
Happy 16th Birthday Sherene....
I'm still real..
I'm still a phone call away..
I'm still real
I'm still Real
I'm still REal
I'm still REAL