Inside Lookin' Out
For mere 16 year-olds, it was very much appaling when my neighbour screamed at us to tone down the radio. You see, the radio wasn't even plugged into the wall socket. It was the sound of Mehua. Don would be the brutal drum god, Jay is the possesed bassist, Andy is the charismatic frontman and me I'm just the 'feeling' lead guitarist. My basement was our stage. My cushions and furniture, the adoring fans.
We were really tight at 16 and we practiced rigorously. Andy and me entered NYP after our O Levels while Don and Jay entered SP. Though seperated, yet we performed at every gig, jam n hop, miscellaneous events organized by our respective schools. There was no need for us to come early for sound checks. We're automatically scheduled as the last band to bring the show to a monstrous end. By 18, we were rendered household names in our own league. By 18 , Andy got himself a scrambler. A devil on 2 wheels has met the devil with 2 voicebox.
School got hectic as we progressed into our 2nd year and the music suffered. 'A Tribute To 70's Rock' was in a month's time and we're scheduled to open the event as the youngest band of the night. Mehua was to perform 4 songs. All handpicked by myself. Our opening song was to be the 9 min masterpiece Inside Lookin Out by Grand Funk Railroad.
"Oi..I don have the CD la for the Grand Funk Song. Can lend me anot?", Andy asked me one morning at school. "Sure. Later you come my house take la", I replied. We were meticulous in every aspect. We wanted to impress. We wanted to look good. We wanted to portray our talents at a level playing field. We wanted to be stars.
A week before the gig and Andy was late. He seems to be spending too much time with Rose. He has not even memorized the whole song for Inside Lookin Out. We were full of angst for we did not have time on our side do we. I was pissed that night and that was the worst jamming session ever. People are going to laugh at us.
Rose called me at 6am the next day. She said Andy got involved in a hit and run and is in ICU. I got the guys together and we visited. I couldn't recognize Andy. He was wrapped from head to toe. His skin was in shreds and yet he seems to be sleeping peacefully. I whispered a silent prayer and left. I couldn't see my best friend this way. We grew up together. I used to sleep in his room, share the same clothes.
Andy passed away the day before the gig. I was in the basement with Don and Jay and Andy's presence was still felt. I looked at the blue cushion which Andy used to wipe his sweat. It was still unwashed. We're that close yet now we'll never know where do we stand. I will never recruit another vocalist. It just wasn't the same. Somehow whenever I looked at those musical instruments, the more I thought about Andy and I decided to quit music.
I visited Andy's mum the next day.She held me close to her though she wasn't chatty like before. The sight of me reminds her of Andy. The same style of dressing. She said she left Andy's room untouched since the last time Andy left the house. She said I could go inside if I wanted to. Each small step I took brought flashbacks since we were kids. Somehow when I turned the knob, I was still hoping to see Andy lying on his bed...ready to throw something at me.The room was full....of void.
I looked at all his posters. Clothes on the floor. His school bag on one side on the room. I saw the trophy we won for inter class soccer in Sec 3. Andy scored the winning goal. Then I noticed the CD player was put on 'Pause'. I pressed 'Play' and was greeted to the raw power that was Inside Lookin Out. I knew Andy was trying his best to memorize the 9 min epic. I was sure we're going to be wonderful on that night that never came. I believe somewhere in time during our next life, we will fulfill that dream.
