Let's Get D_v_ _ _ e _!

It didn't felt too long ago that I left secondary school. I left behind many great stories, some real, mostly exaggerated. Stories are meant to be exaggerated, like how trees are meant to have leaves and how a football match are meant to have plenty of goals. Life would be meaningless sans these staggering exaggerations. Think about the last time you had been given the opportunity to retell a story...if you didn't exaggerate it a little, you must be a boring liar.

Like I said, it didn't felt too long ago that I left secondary school. It was sad to leave behind the many interesting people and experiences that effortlessly always seems to linger my way. Of course there are many bad ones too, like broken hearts and puppy love, ugly girls and unwanted hair sprouting up like buildings in some modern city. And then there was pesky Sally. The teacher's pet no doubt for she had a penchant for telling on the rest of us.

She was the resident snitch. And as much as people wanted to gauge her eyes out, they can't!! For she would have told on the teachers the moment you started imagining such mishapen tales. We used to tease Sally that she would never be the bride of any sane man ever but Sally always seemed unpurturbed by such remarks. Deep down however, Sally began to muse over the possible truth to that matter.

Time flies like a Boeing 747 and before I could even balance my career on four stable legs, one by one, the girls from my alma mater started ringing their wedding bells. The pretty plastic ones ended up marrying ugly but rich pests and had their life made out already...simply by being pretty. Its Fantastic.

Then the ugly ones excelled in their studies and commanded relatively high salaries. They married equally ugly opposites but justified everything by bringing home an average income of about ten thousand dollars! To an extent, they have the last laugh but too bad they're probably gonna have ugly smart children.

And the biggest shocker of all rocked my boat one mundane evening when I received an invitation card for pesky Sally's wedding. "What a wanker!", I thought to myself as I read out the groom's name. It was puzzling and amazing at the same time, the fact Sally found my correct address and had the cheek to invite the ever so mean and heartless class joker to her wedding. Maybe she just wanted to prove to me that there really is such a thing as true transparent love. Interesting eh?.

I attended the wedding nevertheless. For the sumptous food, for the much awaited catching up with the other lads from secondary school, and to lay to rest the itch that had been bugging me. I wanted to see first hand the idiot that made the biggest mistake of his life.

Well I must admit that he looked pretty normal to me. He looked every inch a genuine nice guy that didn't deserve the hannibal like tortures that awaited him. And I felt sorry for him. Though Sally didn't seem as pesky as she was but I choose to believe that has something to do with brides not being able to utter a word while in public.

And so Sally was off the shelf and off to the Maldives for a blistering week of a rocking and humping honeymoon and that's suppose to be the icing on the cake for a blissful wedding..

A month later, I bumped into the newlyweds at Borders Bookstore. Of course, I attempted to be friendly and greeted them with the longest of smiles and heartiest of words. Sally was returning to her pesky self once again and took out her photo albums to show me some of the pictures taken at her wedding. I tried to look interested as I browsed through it.

Sally didn't allow her husband to get into the conversation. She dictated everything. He was carrying like 40 shopping bags while Sally was holding on to her Dior handbag.

As I bid them farewell, I lingered on a few more seconds to look at them walk down the long narrow isle and I felt his loss. After just ten steps or so, Sally's husband glanced back at me and lip synched a sentence. I was trying hard to swallow whatever that he said...coz if I remembered correctly, he said, " I Want A Divorce!'. Well pesky Sally, it appears, some things never change and I'm not exaggerating this time round.